Some amazing women

As I’ve been browsing blog posts and twitter this morning, I’ve been reminded that today is International Women’s Day.

And it seems like a good day to share this story, although this is not the post I was hoping to write about this subject.

For around five wonderful weeks I knew I was pregnant. I did the pee test (I did four!). I had the blood test. I booked in with my obstetrician. I booked the hospital. We even bought a new (bigger) car! (Well, we needed to do that anyway, we just did it a bit sooner). I was surprised and so happy. I never really thought I would have a sibling for Connor, but I always hoped. And just when I had really come to accept it wouldn’t happen, it did. Or at least, it seemed to.

But it was not to be. I had my first appointment and scan with my OB on Wednesday, and my little baby’s heart was not beating. It was late in the afternoon but she phoned around various specialist ultrasound clinics until she found one that could see me straight away, just to be sure. And it was sure.

So I had a trip to hospital yesterday morning and now I’m feeling a bit sore and sorry for myself, but I’m ok. Surprisingly so, really. I suppose a part of me always thought that a second miracle was too good to be true.

But you know, that’s not really what I wanted to focus on with this post. It was an awful thing and one that I wish no person had to experience, but which I know is so common. But if it has to happen, I feel so lucky and know I am so privileged to have it happen in the way I experienced it. Thanks to so many amazing women (and my amazing husband) who have helped and are helping me through it.

My lovely OB. Funny how so many people still assume a doctor must be a man. She felt she did a bad job telling me the result of the scan, but her slight awkwardness really demonstrated to me that she cared, that it was difficult for her too, and that she wasn’t treating me as a number. It must be a difficult balance, as a doctor, to be compassionate but also professional, to deal with the medical issues as well as the emotional ones.

The ultrasound technician, who must hate delivering such news, but who was very kind and gentle.

The registered nurse who did my hospital admission the next morning. I could not have asked for a gentler, more empathetic person.

The nurse who looked after me in the short stay ward, another fantastic caring kind person who is a credit to her profession.

(I must also mention the anaesthetist, even though he’s a man, heh heh. He was very kind too, although he lost points for basically telling me I was a wimp when he put the needle in my hand! I probably was, but he didn’t need to tease me!)

My mum, who was so devastated but who took on the task of telling all my brothers, and my mother in law, who looked after Connor for us and who cooked a mountain of food so we didn’t have to worry about cooking last night or possibly even tonight as well!

My wonderful friends. Thank you xx

So many amazing women, who made such a personally devastating experience so much easier to bear. Such excellent examples of how we, as people (not just women) should treat each other all the time.



Filed under baby, Family, Uncategorized

27 responses to “Some amazing women

  1. DrK

    for me, this year has been the year of amazing women, of which you top the list. i am so sad for you, but you are an inspiration in your strength and attitude towards something that would devastate a lesser person. miracles take all forms, and sometimes its as simple as a new day and knowing you are loved xxx

  2. It feels wrong to hit “Like” on such a post. But it was beautifully written, and I’m happy that you had such wonderful people around you at such a sad time.

  3. I’m so sorry the second miracle was only around for a short time. But you are amazing and I’m so glad you had such great people about. (And I hope this all came out right!)

  4. Such a sad and painful loss. I’m sorry.

  5. Suze

    Love you guys. You are truly loved and we are all feeling sad for you. But you are also amazing you are inspiring to us in how you are handling the situation. When Ruby was born and she was not breathing our world just stood still till they managed to revive her. We were one of the lucky ones. Life is truly a miracle. Lots of love to AB, cute as the cutest car Connor and our lovely Janey.

  6. Jan

    Jane, I’m so sorry to hear this and send prayers and kind thoughts to you all. The second among Aussie knitters this week, (retromummy).

  7. HUGS – virtually and in real life

    women are just quite amazing really

  8. I think we would all wish to have the grace with which you have dealt with such sadness. Amazing, indeed.

  9. Oh Jane, I am so sorry to read your news. I am glad you have so many wonderful people to take care of you.

  10. I am so sorry, and so sad for you. But I am also consoled by the fact you have so many great women around you. xxx

  11. Rachel

    Oh, honey. I am so so sorry. Aw, man. What a trouper you are, though, to recognize others in the face of your loss. I am so glad you received so many kindnesses along the way – you deserved them. Big fat hugs to you honey.

  12. Kim

    Oh, Jane, I’m do sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family.

  13. What a very graceful post. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  14. So many women are amazing, and you are too my friend. I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage when I first got married, ages ago now, but that loss hung with me for quite a while, I know your sadness, and I also know your Joy looking at Connor and knowing that he is a miracle. Take care of yourself.

  15. I’m so sorry. Lots of love.

  16. travellersyarn

    hugs and kisses . Wish that there was more that I could do to help.

  17. It is so like you to see the good in a difficult situation. I am so very sorry for your loss. Life is so precious and so fragile; most of forget to be grateful for it each day. I am glad that you are surrounded by wonderful women. That does help a bit.

  18. big hugs to you, you amazing, strong, wonderful woman. I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Your strength and outlook is an inspiration xx

  19. You’re an incredibly strong person Jane and I’m so glad to be part of your life no matter what. Xx

  20. 1morerow

    So sorry to hear of your loss and you have remained strong throughout and on top of that, giving credit to all involved. You are a credit to all women. Take care.

  21. Shelley

    Hugs. There’s nothing else that I really be said.

  22. Oh lovely, I am so sorry to hear this news, i send you a hug across the ways. The way you are dealing with this is very inspiring. You are an awesome woman and yes let’s celebrate us all xxx

  23. Aw 😦 I am so sorry to read this. Hugest hugs to you all.

  24. Kristie

    Lots of love Jane – thinking of you.

  25. for DD and her hubby, it happened in the opposite order, but now they too have their little miracle as you have Connor. I’m sorry that this time the outcome wasn’t as you had hope. xxx

  26. I don’t know how i missed this and the chance to add my thoughts to the others. I am sorry for your loss. The world is full of remarkable women and you,my dear, are one of them. My heart goes out to you and Sean. Hugs to you all.

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