I miss my dad

One thing about parenthood that I never really anticipated was the emotional impact, and how it has heightened my ability to cry at what seems like the drop of a hat. Of course, being pregnant makes it even worse!

The other day I was driving Connor to day care and a song came on the radio and I teared up, as I always do now when I hear it. Cat’s in the Cradle, by Harry Chapin. So pathetic! But I can’t help it, especially at this time of year. The anniversary of hubby’s father’s death is at the end of January, and of course my Dad’s death happened 8 years ago today. And even though neither of us had dysfunctional relationships with our dads, this song just gets me every.single.time. I think because I also have sons (well, almost two), and because we both know there can be no other time to do things with our dads.

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I wish my dad could be here to meet his grandsons. I miss my dad.

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “I miss my dad

  1. DrK

    it must be really hard, to know how much he would have enjoyed them – so many things to remind you of him, especially right now. i’m always glad when you post about him though, and i think of that gorgeous photo of your wedding day, and i know how proud he must have been of you. hugs xx

  2. Snoozen

    I thought of AB on the 31st January and every time it is Roos birthday I know it is getting to a hard time of the year for you. How lucky Connor is to have your mum so involved in his life. He gets to know your dad through your mum and also through you. Parents and grandparents are truly special people.

  3. Madmad

    Oh, that is weird – I always thought it was Cat Stevens who sang that! Silly me! Funny, the song was just featured on an episode of The Middle (do they air in Australia?) with the teenaged son (a goofball) hearing it and sobbing… so no worries, it’s not just you – That song can bring down the toughest. It IS hard not having a parent around for all these milestones, isn’t it? Hugs. You look awesome, btw – any day now!

    • Thanks lovey. Yes, not long now! I even washed the baby clothes yesterday (finally!). Now I just have to make room for them in the wardrobe! I thought it was a Cat Stevens song too – I’d even written that in my post, but then when I looked it up I discovered that it wasn’t! But that practically everyone thinks it is, heh!

  4. Totally understand how you feel. My dad never got to meet Max either.

  5. First of all you look amazing! 38 weeks means you are good to go anytime, hooray! I know your Dad is watching you and his grandson, and grandson to be and is so happy. I lost my brother 23 years ago, I think of him all the time and want him to meet my children. My parents are still alive but my FIL died years and years ago, I wish he could see what a wonderful father his son is, he would be so proud.
    Love and hugs to you as you enter this next journey, two boys is terrific,
    Meredith

  6. I don’t think we really appreciate our parents until we have our own children feel the intensity of the protective love that we feel for them, and realise that our parents felt exactly the same way about us. Of course you miss your Dad, especially as you bring another little person into the world – and what a compliment to your Dad :).

    Many years ago I went to a workshop for people who were grieving – and they played that song. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place, but I felt that it played to the vulnerabilty of the people there, and focussed on the negative aspects of relationships – and guilt – it stopped people from remembering the happier moments, days and events. I felt traumatised by it, rather than helped. It’s on my banned list now!

    Talk to your children, as they grow, about your Dad and write some of your memories about him in a little book with photos, recipes, and funny sayings – your children will love them and it will keep him alive for them and you.

  7. I am lucky that my parents have been around to see our family grow. I am sure your dad will be smiling now at you looking so lovely and blooming! Its been a long time since i ventured back into blog land and my attempts at blogging again are sad but it was so nice to come across yours and see your news! Take care and good wishes for the birth, Linda (UK) xx

  8. Nothing wrong with a cry, I cried when I watched Torvill and Dean skate to Bolero on the YouTube yesterday!! My dad died 27 years ago on Feb 7th. It is such a long time ago, but it also just seems like yesterday. I was lucky to have him for so long. A girl needs a good dad. You look ready to go, and really well!!!

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